Ever had one of those days where little by little things seem to mount up? Maybe you wake up late. Can’t find anything to wear. Forget to brush your teeth before you run out the door. Get stuck behind that guy who seems to have nowhere to be on your daily commute. Fly into work just on time. Then, just as you think to yourself, “Whew, made it. Barely. But here I am.” And BAM, someone calls an unexpected mandatory morning meeting or announces you all need to stay in the office at lunchtime to discuss some things that need addressed.
Bit by bit, the day has the odds stacked against you. At least it can feel that way, right? Well, life can be that way sometimes, can’t it? If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Just when you get the washing machine fixed, the dryer poops out. Or just when you’ve saved some “extra money” an unexpected car repair pops up. Life has a way of feeling like it’s working against us sometimes.
Much like all these situations, our peace gets slowly chipped away…piece by piece. If you let it. If you don’t recognize the warning signs. And this is totally in inside job. Meaning, only you know…you. Only you know when your inner peace is being slowly compromised.
Do you know how often it crosses my mind to skip church or Bible study or the little (almost) nightly sessions my husband, brother-in-law, and I have in our living room where we discuss life and our day and try to connect the Word to whatever we are feeling that day? More often than I would like to admit. And I regret it almost every time (if I bail out). I feel a little less connected. A little more weighed down. A little less at peace.
Think about any relationship in your life–friends, family, whatever. Those relationships often fade little by little, right? Unless there’s some major blow up or issue, we don’t necessarily lose those relationships–we just fall out of touch. It’s easy to do. It’s hard sometimes to keep up with work and homelife and balance all the relationships we would say we find important to us.
The same is true with your peace. Maybe you forget to pray. Or don’t make time to take a walk. Or sit and chat with someone you love. Bits of your peace can be slowly escaping you without even noticing until all of a sudden, you realize how much of a funk you are in.
Keep it simple. What does “peace” even mean to you? For some, it is simply the absence of conflict. No major problems (war, family conflict, etc)=peace. For others, it may be having their needs met (water, food, roof over their head, a safe home for their family). That may be the definition of peace for some.
And for others, there’s the concept of mindfulness. Mindfulness is sometimes a foreign concept to us. Especially if you’ve been living in chaos. I can tell you with much confidence that when I was actively drinking, there was no room for me to even consider anything related to being mindful. Not of others and not of myself. I had no peace. Not inner nor outer. And for anyone whose lived in the midst of storms (which I would dare say we all have) it’s very hard to remain very mindful or at peace when you perceive your current situation as overwhelming. Some people live in crisis mode.
So, what’s the key to peace? Well, if I had an easy answer, I wouldn’t be writing this. I tend to figure out things when I write about them. And when I spend some quiet time. Usually, for me, that’s in prayer. You do you. Maybe it’s a walk in nature or a drive into the sunset with some of your favorite music playing. Whatever it is, do it. Don’t wait until you’re in crisis mode. Try to do it daily (or more if needed:)
Psychologically, people experience peace when they let go of the need to control every outcome and live grounded in the present moment. BAM! Read that again.
Grounded in the present moment. Letting go of the need to control. Or our perception that we are in control (at all times). Yes, I can control some things (what I eat or drink–or DON’T drink, wink wink:) I can control my words (most of the time). But really, if I believe in God (which I do) I am not really in control.
And I find peace in that. Humans try to control so much. And it rarely works out. Even if it does for the individual, there can be others who are negatively affected by our need to control.
I find peace in my unknowns to a known God. A knowing God. If I admit I am powerless over so much, it is easier to place my faith and trust into a powerful Higher Power.
Think of your inner peace as a skill of sorts. Bakers get better with practice. Painters get better the more they paint. Athletes train and don’t let their muscles or their agility atrophy. If I consistently remind myself that I am not in control–and I surrender every day, then I am building my peace, so to speak. Strengthening my relationship with God and building my trust in Him. That’s where I find the good stuff. The real peace.
Pieces of our peace can be slowly stolen from us. Without realizing it. Without acknowledging it. Take time to check in with yourself. Maybe you aren’t a person of faith? As always, zero judgment here. You find other ways to be at peace. Again, you do you. If prayer or meditation doesn’t speak to you, then write or draw or go for a walk, chat with an old friend.
The dictionary has several definitions of peace, but here’s what I find I relate to most: a state of tranquility or quiet such as freedom from being disturbed or bothered by people, noise, etc.
I find that my current relationship with God and my faith is a good measure for how I am doing in the “Peace Department” so to speak. Figure out what threatens your peace and do something about it. When your inner voice tells you that pieces of your peace are slowly fading away…listen to it. Stop and reflect. Self-reflection is free…and can also be freeing. And you can’t put a price tag on protecting your peace. Protect it like your life depends on it…because sometimes it’s the glue holding it all together:)
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