Last.Damn.Call

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Breault

I often hear people say that we are too quick these days to celebrate mediocrity. Participation ribbons and an “everyone is a winner” attitude and such. And it’s okay to believe in earning your place and not everyone deserves a trophy. I get it. But that’s not the point of this post.

I am talking about what happens inside your home. Celebrating the little things. We all made it out the door to church on time (with matching shoes and all!) Celebrate! Even if it’s just a, “Hey, guys, we did it! Made it church in one piece and on time!” Little wins. Someone took the dog to pee without having to be asked. Small victories!

“Life becomes beautiful when individuals truly appreciate the insignificant moments”.

We had family dinner tonight. Like actually sat down together and ate and discussed what this next week looks like. That sounds so unimportant to some, but it is something we have really fallen out of the habit of doing. An hour of cooking, setting the table, saying a small prayer…and I am not gonna lie, I did feel like the mom on “A Christmas Story” a few times when I went to take a bite and someone needed something.

But I learned Crosby now eats his hamburgers without a bun, Jilianne’s driving license has been missing for some time now, Eli suddenly thinks he is a ventriloquist. Apparently, I talk too much with food in my mouth per Crosby. Jilianne has an Amazon card burning a hole in her pocket. Crosby likes to give advice on why saving money is important. Meanwhile, Jilianne used part of her fundraising money to put gas in her car. And Eli even filled us in on when his upcoming doctor’s appointments are. Crosby told me I wasn’t in too bad of shape for someone who is about to turn 46. Thanks, son.

If the scene was a pilot for a tv show, we’d been cancelled immediately. But it was really, really what I needed to start this week off on a good note. A simple Sunday night dinner.

“The best portions of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you”.

Mediocrity is basically being average, normal, or just “meh” to use a word you youngsters understand. And that may be what some of the simple, often overlooked moments like this look like: just mediocre. Just “blah” unforgettable events. But not for me. Not for someone in recovery especially. Not for someone who has seen the other side.

Learning to love the simple things. Appreciating your family at the simplest of times. Addiction tells you these things are boring. A roadblock on your path to having fun. Addiction lies and says there’s always time to make more of these moments. And we all know that isn’t always the case. Addiction lies and tells you that your kids don’t appreciate you and don’t really care if you are around or not. That’s partially true. Your kids want you, the real you around. They learn to live with that other, watered-down version. The half-ass version. The physically present but mentally and emotionally unavailable version.

So, yes, I bug my kids by going in their rooms now and plopping on their bed. I don’t get these moments back. The simple ones. The silly ones. I learned how mad it makes Crosby when I touch his feet–he really hates that, so of course, I do it all the time. And then take off running before he can retaliate. He’s growing into such a smart, kind, special young man. So many young men who come from homes of parents like we once were…turn out very differently. Hardened. Defensive. Taking their hardships out on others. He’s had some great role models when we were lacking greatly in that department. He is such a wonderful kid.

Jilianne has this childlike quality to her that I so adore about her. Our drinking and behaviors could have sent her down some wicked paths…we have all seen it, you know what I mean. Having to grow up too fast. Making unwise choices and looking for comfort in the wrong things. She had a helluva support system when we were going through our toughest times. And I fully owe those people a huge chunk of gratitude. Because she is still the sweetest girl I have ever met. That could have really turned out differently. And not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for watching over her.

Thank God for people who loved our children (and us) enough to keep them safe from our demons. So yes, we celebrate the small things. The boring things. The things most people take for granted. Anyone who comes from a broken home (whatever the word “broken” means in your life) should really learn to hold onto and appreciate these little moments.

Time is not guaranteed. There are no expiration dates on your moments in life. Grab those little moments and make the most of them. No matter how boring or normal or mundane or mediocre they may seem. Someday you will look back and realize little moments are irreplaceable and are some of life’s most valuable gifts.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Breault