Last.Damn.Call

I remember early on in AA someone talking about eating crow while it was still warm. And it took me a minute. “Eating crow” (in case you are unfamiliar with the phrase) is when someone is humbled by admitting when they were wrong.

Ah, then it struck me. In recovery (and sometimes just in regular old life) we have to admit our wrongs and apologize for them. So, in the name of “eating crow” or “admitting a mistake” is it better to let it sit and fester and become cold. OR is it better to eat some crow while it is still a little warm? Hmmmm.

Well, hardheaded drunken Lindseys of the world unite! Deny, make excuses, lie, refuse defeat…and eventually choke down some nasty ass cold crow. Or be Sober Lindsey and put on your big girl pants and admit your mistakes promptly and see how that warm crow settles a little better on your stomach.

Is it hard for you to apologize? To admit you were wrong or that you made a mistake. OR are you an over apologizer? Meaning, apologizing to or for others or when it’s not even necessary.

When I was drinking, I was in the wrong about 90% of the time. Honestly. And I was also constantly apologizing. Which held zero value to anyone receiving the apology. It’s like someone who constantly shows up for work late and always rushes in uttering their sorrys. No one believes them. Everyone knows that person is going to be late. And the apology at this point is almost an insult. Like, “We all knew you’d be late. What is it your sorry for exactly?” If you were admitting you were wrong by being late over and over, you might actually take action and change something to prevent this in the future.

And let’s be honest, it sucks to be the person on the other end of that scenario as well. You know you aren’t reliable. Others know you aren’t reliable. You know they know you aren’t reliable. And it’s embarrassing. I know because I was that person.

Eating crow or admitting that you are at fault can be embarrassing at times. But quite honestly, if you are going to be embarrassed regardless, wouldn’t you rather it be over telling the truth than being caught in denial? The truth usually comes out, so that just makes it double embarrassing if you have to eventually admit you lied in the first place.

Remember when you were a kid, and an adult said something like, “Tell me the truth. The punishment will be way worse if you lie.” Well, that’s true in adulthood, too. You may not get grounded from your car or whatever, but sometimes you lose things more valuable like trust and respect. Ouch. All because you weren’t man (or woman) enough to own up to your mistake in the first place.

In a nutshell, it stinks to admit when you are wrong. It just does. But I can tell you from experience, it stinks way more to wait to admit a wrong…it festers, eats away at your peace of mind, makes you paranoid and fearful. Coming clean may not be an ideal situation in your mind, but it usually comes with way less drama and consequences than not facing it head on.

Eating crow can be a tough thing to do. But it is usually the right thing to do. The nice human thing to do. Admit your mistakes. Don’t wait too long or it gets funky. Only you can decide to do it before it gets too cold to stomach.