Last.Damn.Call

If you think about putting a puzzle together, how do you start? Do you first lay out all the pieces by color or scheme? Maybe you put all the corners in one stack. Smoothed edge pieces in another. Do you try to make a plan of how to tackle and solve it?

My pastor gave a sermon a few years back and told the story of his sister working in a place where puzzles were manufactured. And how upset people would be when they bought a puzzle only to find out a piece was missing. They’d write letters or send it back demanding all the pieces or a refund. When a piece of our life’s puzzle is misplaced or missing, it can be frustrating. Downright depressing or even chaotic.

When I was in rehab, we had an “activity” room with some games and coloring pages and such. Making me feel much like a toddler which is what my behavior mirrored when I was drinking. Fair enough. One way I found to kill time was to work some of the puzzles. Some simple ones, some with 1000+ pieces. I would sit and work quietly (God, silence was such a virtue in that place). Every now and again, I would just about finish a puzzle…only to find a piece missing. Maybe even two. My guess is some asshat rehab-er of past had stolen them or eaten them or something stupid just to ruin my life. It felt personal. What a stupid thing to get worked up about. At the time though, it felt like a big deal. One more thing that I failed at.

But rehab was all about learning about yourself. Your ghosts of the past. Your triggers. Your tolerance of bullshit–also known as life. Because let’s face it, addicts and drunks are not facing life. Not clearheaded. Not without a crutch. Not without a substance. Maybe, just maybe, those missing pieces were another test. Intentional or not.

I feel like every day presents new challenges despite your circumstances. Whether it be big things like figuring out how to pay the utilities or little things like what to wear. Do you find yourself getting worked up about seemingly “little” things? I know I do.

Getting stuck behind a little old man on his slow morning drive while I am impatiently waiting for my opportunity to pass. A small puzzle piece of my day. Getting a phone call from my kiddo needing gas money. Another little piece of my day to tackle.

The New Year always brings a sense of fresh beginnings and the possibility of new things to come. Ways to make your life’s puzzle easier or better. If you laid out your life like a puzzle…what would you find? How would you prioritize your pieces? Mine would probably include faith, shelter, family, health, friends and money (for basic needs such as food and running water) for starters.  If one of those pieces are missing, it most definitely affects the others, leaving a much-needed space to be filled.

If your life’s puzzle has too many pieces, that can be problematic as well. Trying to fit in more than you are capable of…making your puzzle crowded and not quite fitting together properly. In determining what your puzzle’s needs are, I recently ran across a question that seems to keep popping up everywhere I look: “In 5 years, will this be important to my life?” That seems to put things in perspective for me. If I can ask myself if this material item I really desire or this goal I want to achieve will matter in my life several years from now, that can help determine whether I need to re-prioritize my set of goals.

Life is short. We have all heard and said this so many times, but it is true. Too short to worry needlessly about people, places, and things that do not necessarily have a place in our own personal puzzle. This is not to say you shouldn’t show kindness and compassion toward others, but it means determining what makes the most sense in this short life to fit into your life’s puzzle of priorities.

I have been told to ask myself the question, “Does ___________ serve my life in a positive manner?” You can fill in the blank with whatever you are struggling with. Maybe it is a certain food or habit or even relationship. And if you can easily answer with a resounding “No” it does not serve my life positively, then maybe it is time to rethink what to do about it. From my personal journey, I can tell you I have had to remove both substances and people from my life. The substance part is kind of a no-brainer (doesn’t make it any easier, but it is kind of an obvious culprit).

The people part can be more difficult. I don’t want anyone to read this and then think, “Well, that Lindsey Cox is cold hearted and told me to cut some of my family and friends out of my life.” Because that is not what I am saying. Ask yourself again that question: “Does _____ serve my life in a positive manner?” Meaning, is the relationship reciprocal? Do you find yourself giving and giving without receiving anything in return? Or are you the taker? Taking and taking without giving thanks or anything in return? In an ideal world, we would engage in reciprocal relationships consisting of kindness and understanding—helping someone out because they care about you and vice versa.

In light of us turning the final pages of 2025 and entering 2026, maybe we should work to move important pieces of our life to the center of our focus. Setting aside things that don’t serve a positive purpose. Not necessarily discarding them, but maybe just placing to the side until we find a way to make them properly fit into our overall happiness, health, and well-being. If you examine your life as a puzzle, maybe you can find ways to lighten your load of burdens and fill your heart with positivity as we all embark into a New Year and all the potential it has to offer.