Last.Damn.Call

Our AA Daily Reflection today was about maintaining your spiritual condition. As always, these ideas not only apply to addicts and alcoholics, but they really apply to anyone who must walk among other humans on a regular basis. This is also not just a religious idea–spirituality can mean so many things to different people. Your idea of your place in this world. A connection to something bigger than yourself.

Among many concepts, it can be in relation to God or a Higher Power or Nature or whatever fosters your sense of inner peace and connection. While it can be religious or cultural beliefs, it also can look like personal experiences or how you pray or meditate or even how you show love through acts of kindness and compassion toward others.

Think of your spiritual condition as the daily nourishment you feed your soul. Your daily tune up. When you begin your day, your thoughts and feelings can determine whether your mindset will be one that weighs you down or lifts you up.

You get to choose on what to focus on. Choose wisely.

In AA, we learn about our powerlessness over alcohol (which also applies to life sometimes). If you can recognize your own powerlessness over certain thoughts, feelings, situations, they become easier to hand over through prayer, meditation, etc.

When we don’t do these daily check ins, tune ups, meditations–things that can happen can include: Feelings of anger or hopelessness, depression and anxiety, difficulty sleeping, feeling abandoned by God or others, questioning the meaning of your life or your temporary suffering, sudden doubt in spiritual or religious beliefs, and just feeling so clueless or lost as to why certain situations occur.

Some reasons people suffer spiritually can include feeling that your needs are left unfulfilled. Needs such as love, faith, hope, virtue, and beauty.

So, what’s the answer to avoid these situations, these moments of spiritual suffering? Well, a good start is to be prepared. Think of how you prepare for situations such as leaving for a trip or even an urgent situation such as a flat tire, dead car battery, or natural disaster such as a tornado. You prepare, right?

Much like you probably keep spare flashlights or candles around in case the power goes out, you need to have some spiritual-preparedness-kit-type stuff. Maybe your Bible is your go-to in case of “emergency”. Maybe you call a friend or relative. Maybe you pray or meditate or just take time to breathe. Maybe you go for a walk. Maybe you close your eyes and rest.

Reacting to situations in a calm manner rather than turning into a crazed lunatic is a learned skill. I don’t care how old you are. It is a lesson you need to revisit often. The lesson never changes. Learn to recognize your feelings and how to react like an adult rather than a toddler who missed naptime.

Let me tell you the old Lindsey way (spoiler alert: this always consists of a terrible, shitty idea). I can get worked up in anticipation of something happening before it happens. Doesn’t sound too crazy yet, right…hold on. I can get worked up about possibly running into someone that doesn’t like me or rubs me the wrong way or whatever…I can get worked up over the possibility of maybe encountering said person. Then my mind goes to work over what I will say, not say, how I will remain calm, then how I might not remain calm. Anticipating what someone might or might not say and how it may or may not hurt my feelings.

This is where the crazy train officially flies off the tracks. Why am I doing this? I am absolutely creating hypothetical situations to be mad about. WHY? If you are guilty of this, join me in an attempt to put the brakes on this crazy train before more passengers hop on. It can turn into an epidemic of crazy really quickly. It never ends well. I am already all worked up, heart racing, thoughts going 1000mph, and NOTHING has even happened yet. And probably won’t. And preparing in this manner is 99.9% going to result in a shit show. Let’s cancel those tickets to that show now. Close the curtain on that show. No encores. No refunds.

My daily tune up looks different from day to day. Sometimes I pray in the car. If I am being honest, it is an attempt to make other drivers stop being asshats on the road. But then I usually apologize for using the word “asshat” in my prayer and move on to praying on arriving safely to where I am going. Staying on track can help you stay spiritually fit or tuned up. Ways that I personally do this is by reading, journaling (writing, blogging, etc.), prayer, making gratitude lists, and even by acts of service.

Service was confusing to me at first. AA peeps give you simple suggestions like making the coffee or greeting people at the door. I thought, well, ok but isn’t there more? So, in the beginning, I consulted with Dr. Google and got a little better understanding. The practice of service helps members maintain their own sobriety by shifting focus away from self-centered thoughts. So, that applies to alcoholics, so what if that alcoholic part doesn’t apply to you? (good for you, by the way! Seriously!) Sharing your experience, strength, and hope with other alcoholics is what we are taught in AA. But think about you (a non-problem drinker or substance abuser)? Can you not share your experience, strength and hope with others? Whatever that may be. Mom to mom. Golfer to golfer. Man to man. Old to young. Teacher to student. You do a service to others when you share your experience, strength, and hope with others–regarding almost anything. If they are open to your sharing, of course. No one likes unwarranted advice…(Another ugly side show freak of the Lindsey shit show is unsolicited advice-free of charge!) It’s less plentiful in sobriety I am happy to say.

So, in a nutshell, think about and prepare how you want your day to go. You can even pick it apart to one day at a time, one hour, or minute by minute on some days.

To reiterate: Think of your spiritual condition as the daily nourishment you feed your soul. Your daily tune up. When you begin your day, your thoughts and feelings can determine whether your mindset will be one that weighs you down or lifts you up.

You get to choose on what to focus on. Choose wisely.